


Breaking Down Walls

by ohsnapitzalli



Category: Women's Soccer RPF
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-11-25
Updated: 2014-11-25
Packaged: 2018-02-26 23:19:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,468
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2670125
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ohsnapitzalli/pseuds/ohsnapitzalli
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Hope Solo is a complicated person. She has walls built up that no one has ever been able to break through. Kelley begins to break them down, little by little. Will Hope let her in or will she rebuild her walls, stronger than ever?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Breaking Down Walls

Hope Solo is perceived as a bitch. Everyone knows her “bitch face” and her reputation for not letting anyone in. And it’s true, for the most part; that she doesn’t let people in, not that she’s a bitch. Hope isn’t a bitch. Hope is the kindest and most loyal person I know. She’s guarded but she’s also the most caring person in the world. She keeps to herself but if you manage to get close to her she will stand by you to the end of the world. It takes most people years to get anywhere close to Hope but somehow I managed to do it in a few months. Hope has built up thick walls from years and years of pain and I hope that one day I can break down some of those walls and show her that not everyone is going to hurt her. Carli has started to do that but even she has a long ways to go. Carli Lloyd is Hope’s best friend on the team, and one of her closest friends in general, but it took her years to get there. Hope didn’t realize how much she needed Carli until Carli was the only one to stand up for her in 2007. I didn’t know Hope then but it’s easy for me to see how much it meant to Hope, for Carli to stick by her through everything.

Hope and I have a different kind of friendship. I’m a very affectionate person; Hope is not. Aside from extreme highs or extreme lows Hope doesn’t do a lot of physical contact. Sure she hugs her friends but not longer than a few seconds and she doesn’t do random, meaningless touches or a causal arm around their shoulder. Except with me. I don’t know why but she doesn’t seem to mind with me. I don’ really act any differently with her than I do with anyone else but I’m conscience that she lets me do it.

Over time we grew closer and closer and now I call Hope one of my best friends, but our relationship has been changing in the last few months. Ever since Hope and Jeremy got divorced.

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

_Hope called me the day the divorce was finalized. She was very calm and factual when she told me what happened. She was trying to act like she didn’t care but I didn’t buy it for a second. I knew she didn’t really love Jeremy but I also knew that the divorce still had to hurt. It was a failure and Hope didn’t do failure._

_I caught a plane that night and was at her door by 8:00 the next morning. She seemed surprised to see me but I just brushed past her into the house. I put my bag down and went to the kitchen to get spoons for the ice cream I had bought on my way over. Then I put on Hope’s favorite sappy movie, The Time Traveler’s Wife. She would never admit that she likes it but I’ve watched it with her a few times. I know she loves it. I put the ice cream on the table and grab a blanket. Hope was still standing by the door staring at me so I walked over to her and grabbed her by her hand, leading her to the couch and sitting her down._

_“What are you doing here?” she finally asked me._

_I just handed her a spoon and pressed play, ignoring her question. By the time the movie ended the ice cream is gone and we’re both crying despite having seen the movie many times before. I turned off the movie and turned towards Hope._

_“Are you ready to talk now?” I asked her._

_“I just…it didn’t work out. I don’t really know why we got married in the first place. We’re different people. Hell, you know me better than he does. I don’t think I really loved him but I married him because it was good enough” she finally said, not looking directly at me._

_“Hope, you shouldn’t be with someone because they’re ‘good enough’. You marry someone because you love them and they make you happy. But even if you didn’t love Jeremy you’re still allowed to be upset that the marriage ended.” I told her._

_“I don’t want to be upset though. And I don’t do happy endings. You know that. They don’t exist” Hope said quietly._

_“That’s bullshit” I said bluntly, causing Hope to look up, “happy endings do exist and you will get yours. It just isn’t with Jeremy. Happy endings come in all kinds of forms. You don’t need a man to be happy. I don’t have a boyfriend and I’m happy I’m happy with my friends, with my family. I’m happy when I’m with you. And I know that you can be happy too if you would just let yourself. I’ve seen it a few times so just let yourself be happy.”_

_There are tears in Hope’s eyes when I finish and I gently wiped them away before pulling her into a hug._

_“Thank you Kell” she mumbled into my shoulder._

_“I’ll always be here for you Hope. Come on, let’s get some sleep”_

_Hope nodded, then got up and walked to her bedroom, still holding my hand. I followed and stayed with her than night._

_I stayed with her for a week before I had to head back to New Jersey but something changed in our friendship in those few days. Hope started to let me in even more and I noticed her initiating physical contact instead of just waiting for me to do it. Our relationship was changing._

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

After I left we continue to grow closer, we talk on the phone almost every night and we’re constantly texting. Hope stops holding back from me and I find myself waiting for her call every night.

One day, at lunch with Christie, Reece and Rylie, I realize just how attached I’ve become to Hope. Rylie and Reece are at the small arcade in the diner we’re in when Christie snatches my phone out of my hand.

“Earth to Kelley. You’ve been glued to your phone for weeks now. Who are you talking to all the time?” she asks me.

“I – uh – Hope” I admit, reaching to take my phone back.

Christie looks surprised for a minute before she recovers, “Um okay well maybe tone it down a bit? We miss you here” she says.

“Sure” I say, already distracted again, texting Hope back.

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

A few days later I’m on my computer when I get a Skype request from Alex. I immediately accept and Alex and Tobin’s faces appear on my screen.

“Kelley!” they both shout and I smile.

“Hey guys”

“We haven’t talked to you in forever! Where have you been?” Alex asks.

“I’ve been around” I say, glancing down at my phone to text Hope back.

“Ohhh is there a guy?” Tobin asks.

“What? No.” I say, my head whipping up, scowling at her.

“Then who are you texting? Because you haven’t been texting us” Alex chimes in.

“I – it’s Hope”

“Hope?” Tobin asks, confused.

“Yeah, we’re friends and she’s going through some stuff” I say, trying to defend myself.

“Kelley, Hope’s divorce was finalized 3 months ago” Alex points out.

“I know. We’re friends. Just drop it” I say, a little harsher than I intended.

Alex holds her hands up in surrender and drops the topic. We talk for an hour or so before hanging up so that I can get some sleep. That night I lay in bed thinking for a long time. Tobin’s suggestion that there’s a guy in my life is nagging in the back of my mind. Hope and I have grown closer and sure I’ve jokingly thought about a relationship with her but I’ve never thought about it seriously. We’re just friends. Right? She did tell me that I know more about her than anyone else. I’m the one she called when she had a nightmare about her dad. I would do anything for her. Talking to her makes me smile. My thoughts continue to race until I finally realize something; I love her. No, I’m in love with her. I’m in love with Hope Solo. Eventually I fall into a restless sleep.

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

Sky Blue plays in Seattle next week and although I’m excited to see Hope, I’m nervous because of my revelation. I’ve started to realize how suggestive some of our texts are and by the time the day comes for us to fly to Seattle I’ve managed to convince myself that I actually have a change with Hope. I know this weird half-flirting thing we’re doing isn’t completely one way.

We don’t have training today because the game isn’t for 2 days so Hope, Sydney and Pinoe meet us at the airport. Christie and I plan to go to dinner with them to catch up.

As soon as I see Hope my face breaks into a huge grin. I rush to her and pull her into a tight hug. She hugs me back and when I pull back a little to look in her eyes I get lost for a minute. We stand there, arms wrapped around each other, staring into each other’s eyes until Pinoe pulls me away to hug her. I snap out of my trance and hug Pinoe and then Sydney.

Christie and I let the team know that we’ll meet them at the hotel in a few hours before leaving the airport with our national teammates. Hope brought her own car while Sydney and Megan rode together because Christie has Reece with her so we wouldn’t all fit in one car. Christie and Reece ride with Sydney and Megan while I ride with Hope.

Hope and I talk easily in the car and the smile that started in the airport never leaves my face. When we get to the restaurant I sit between Sydney and Hope and across from Reece who is sitting between Pinoe and Christie.

Hope and I each get our own meals but spend the whole time eating off each other’s plates. At one point Syd gives me a weird look but I just brush her off. We finish dinner and Hope drives Christie, Reece and I back to the hotel while Pinoe drops Sydney off at her apartment before heading home herself.

When we get to the hotel Christie immediately takes Reece upstairs to put her to bed but I linger downstairs to say goodbye to Hope.

“What time are you done with training tomorrow?” Hope asks me, once Christie is gone.

“We’re done at 2:00 but we have a team dinner at 7:00” I tell her.

“We’re done at 3:00. Do you want to come over and watch a movie before your dinner? I can pick you up”

“Definitely” I tell her smiling and her eyes brighten.

“Great, I’ll see you tomorrow then” she says, pulling me into a hug.

I squeeze her tighter, “I’ve missed you” I mumble into her chest.

“I missed you too Kells” she answers, “Alright, get some sleep squirrel” she says when she pulls back.

I laugh, “text me when you get home” I tell her as I turn to walk to the elevator.

She nods and I know she will. I head upstairs to the room that I’m sharing with Sophie.

“Hey Soph” I say when I walk in.

“Hey Kelley. How was your dinner?” she asks, looking up from her book.

“Great, it was nice to catch up with everyone” I tell her as I change my clothes for bed.

“That’s good. Oh hey, a bunch of us are going to go explore Seattle after training tomorrow, do you want to come?” she asks me.

“No thanks, I already made plans with Hope. Have fun though” I tell her, climbing into bed.

“Well if you change your mind you’re welcome to join us” she says.

Just then my phone chimes:

HOPE: just got home. you can go to bed now. see you tomorrow.

I smile before replying:

            KELLEY: I wasn’t waiting up…well maybe I was. g’night Hope.

I get another message just as Sophie is turning out the light.

            HOPE: goodnight squirrel

I smile before putting my phone down and closing my eyes.

  

 

* * *

 

 

 

The next day training goes relatively well. We head back to the hotel after training and everyone gets ready to go out while I sit in my room watching Sports Center while I wait for Hope to text me to let me know she’s on her way. At 3:15 I get a text:

            HOPE: I’m on my way. you ready?

I smile and grab my shoes, knowing that she’ll be here in about 10 minutes.

            KELLEY: I’ll meet you outside.

I walk down to the lobby, only waiting for about 5 minutes before Hope pulls up. I get in the passenger seat and we hug as well as possible with us both in a car. When we get to Hope’s house she puts in some new romantic comedy and we both sit on the couch to relax. The movie is only about half-way over and I’m already bored with it.

“I’m bored” I tell Hope.

“Shush, watch the movie” Hope tells me without taking her eyes off the screen.

I try poking her to get her attention but she just ignores me so I decide to try a different approach. I snatch her hat off her head and take off running towards the kitchen. Hope’s hand flies up to try to stop me but she’s too late. She gets up and starts chasing me. We play cat and mouse for a few minutes before she corners me by the front door. She backs me up until my back is pressed up against the door. I’m holding her hat behind my back, still smirking so she keeps walking towards me, putting her arms on either side of me, effectively trapping me. I look up at her and realize just how close her face is to mine. She leans forward until our faces are only inches apart. My heart is racing.

“Give me back my hat” she says and I take a deep breath.

It’s now or never, I think, “Never” I say just before I crash my lips into hers.

It’s like the world stops turning, sparks fly, every cliché you can think of, I feel it. Hope immediately kisses me back and my arms move to circle her neck, the hat dropping to the floor, forgotten. My hands tangle themselves in her hair and her hands find the small of my back, just under my shirt.

After a few minutes we both pull back, breathless.

“I’ve wanted to do that for a while” I say quietly even though we’re the only people in the house.

“I’m glad you did” Hope answers, leaning forward to capture my lips again.

We spend the next hour kissing and just being together until Hope has to drop me off at my hotel.

“I’ll see you tomorrow” I say, getting out of the car.

I head into dinner with the team and Sophie immediately notices my smile and good mood.

“Good day?” she asks me.

“Yes” I say, and leave it at that.

Sophie takes the hint and doesn’t ask me anything else.

 

 

* * *

 

 

The next day goes by quickly and before I know it it’s game time. The game goes well and even though we lose 1-2, I’m not entirely disappointed. The team played well and I played well. I scored our only goal and even prevented Sydney from scoring a second time. The game ends and we go to shake hands with/hug the other team. I get a hug from Sydney and Pinoe, congratulating them both on their goals and they congratulate me back before looking around for Hope. I can’t find her so I ask Sydney if she knows where she went.

“I think I saw her head into the locker room” she tells me and I scowl.

‘Why would she leave without talking to me?’ I wonder.

I head back into our locker room and text her:

            KELLEY: Why’d you ditch me after the game?

I shower and change in the locker room before checking my phone again. I scowl when I see that she hasn’t answered me and Christie notices.

“Everything okay Kelley?” she asks me.

I look up to see a concerned look on her face, “Yeah I just have to figure something out. I’ll meet you guys back at the hotel” I tell her, grabbing my bag and walking out of the locker room.

I run into Sydney on my way to the parking lot, literally run into her. She stumbles back but Carm catches her. I unfortunately have no one to catch me and fall on my ass.

“Damn Kell. Where are you going in such a hurry?” Sydney asks as she helps me up.

“Have you seen Hope?” I ask, brushing the gravel off my hands.

“She left like 5 minutes ago. Are you okay Kelley?” Syd asks, sounding concerned.

“Yeah I just need to talk to her. Do you know the local number for a cab?” I ask her, already looking it up on my phone.

“Woah, slow down Kell. Have you tried calling her? What happened?” Sydney asks, while Carm looks on confused.

I sigh but dial her number anyways, to pacify Sydney. I get her voicemail and give Syd a look.

“Okay what happened Kelley? Hope wouldn’t just ignore you” Sydney asks.

“I don’t know. I just need to talk to her, I’m calling a cab” I say and am about to press dial when Carm speaks up.

“We can drive you” she says, and then turns to Sydney, “right Syd?”

“Yeah of course” Sydney answers, realizing that she isn’t going to get any answers from me but she obviously thinks it’s safer if she drives me to Hope’s rather than letting me get in some random cab.

“Thanks” I say, following them to their car.

The car ride is relatively silent. Carm and Sydney are having a silent conversation but I ignore them, too preoccupied with figuring out what to say to Hope to stop her form pulling away. That must be what this is about. She’s scared to be happy. She’s scared because we kissed. I know her well enough to figure that much out but I’m not going to let her shut me out. We’ve come too far for me to just give up now.

The car stops and I’m pulled out of my thoughts. I look up and realize that we’re in front of Hope’s house. Her car is in the driveway. Good, she’s home.

“We’ll wait for you” Sydney says.

“No, it’s fine. Thank you but I need to do this on my own. You guys should go” I say, getting out of the car.

Sydney sighs and rolls down her window, “Fine but call me. If you don’t call me by 11:00 tonight I’m starting at your hotel and them coming here” she says seriously.

I smile, “I’ll be fine. Thank you Sydney” I say, hugging her through the window before turning to walk up to the door.

“I’m serious, call me!” Sydney yells.

“I will. Now go” I yell back.

I watch them drive off before ringing the doorbell. I can hear Leo barking inside but Hope doesn’t come to the door so I ring it again. When she still doesn’t answer I decide to just lean on the doorbell so that it rings continuously. When she finally opens the door I’ve moved on from hurt and confused to flat out angry.

“I don’t want to talk Kelley” Hope says when she opens the door.

I ignore her and push past her, into the house, “Who do you think you are?!” I practically yell spinning on my heels to face her, “You don’t get to just shut me out! No. We were friends before anything happened and we will always be friends. Not only did you push me away but you embarrassed me in front of both of our teams! Sydney is worried about me because of you. I can’t even celebrate my own goal because I’m too worried about our relationship! You aren’t the only one involved in this Hope”

When I finally finish Hope is just staring at me with her mouth hanging open.

“I can’t do this Kelley. Us. This. I can’t.” she finally says and I can see her building her walls back up.

I sigh and take a deep breath to calm myself down before responding, “Okay I’m going to talk and you’re going to listen. Can you do that?” I ask calmly.

Slowly Hope nods her head. We both move to sit on the couch and I close my eyes for a minute to clear my head and gather my thoughts.

“I know you don’t believe in happy endings or think you deserve love but I do. And I’m telling you that you’re wrong. I’m not saying that a relationship is going to be easy because no relationship is ever easy but I am saying that I really really care about you and I’m not ever going to intentionally hurt you. I can’t say that neither of us will ever get hurt but I can say that we can work through it if we do. I’m not running. I know about your past and I know you. And I’m still here. Our friendship will always come first. Even if we don’t work out as a couple we will always be friends. I can promise you that. You aren’t going to lose me and I’m not going to let you push me away. All I’m asking is for you to try. Just try this. Us. It’s not going to be perfect but I know that I can make you happy. I know because you make me happy. I just need you to try”

When I finish there are tears rolling down my cheeks and I can see Hope’s eyes watering.

“Okay” she says so quietly that I almost don’t hear her.

“Okay?” I ask with a strangled laugh.

She smiles and I pull her into a bone crushing hug.

“I’m so sorry Kelley” she says, her face buried in my hair, “I was scared. I am scared.” She whispers.

I pull back and take both of her hands in my own, “I know you’re scared but you just have to talk to me. As long as you don’t shut me out we can do this. We can figure this out together.”

Hope smiles and I lean in to give her a light kiss and her hands move to tangle in my hair, puling me closer. The kiss is filled with love. I pull back a few minutes later, breathless and rest my forehead against Hope’s. We sit there just staring into each other’s eyes for a few minutes before I pull back and settle myself against Hope’s side. She wraps her arm around me, holding me close.

“Movie?” I ask, placing a light kiss on her shoulder. We’re both emotionally drained so a movie will be a good distraction.

“Sure” she says, grabbing the remote and flicking through the channels before stopping on _Pitch Perfect_ , one of my favorite movies, and though Hope will never admit it, hers too.

About half way through the movie Hope turns to look at me with a confused expression, “Wait did you say Sydney was worried about you? Why would she be worried about you?” she asks.

“Oh shit. What time is it? I need to call her” I ask, panicked as I fumble for my phone.

“11:30 why?” Hope says, glancing down at her watch.

“Shit” I say just as we hear loud and insistent knocking on the door

Hope glances at me before getting up and walking towards the door. I scramble to follow her and get there just as she opens the door.

“Where’s Kelley?” Sydney asks as soon as the door opens.

Hope just stands there, stunned.

“Sydney I’m fine. I’m sorry. I forgot to call. Everything’s fine, I promise” I say, just as Hope snaps out of her trance.

“What’s going on?” she asks.

“Sydney drove me here earlier” I say.

“Yeah and she was freaking out. She was supposed to call me by 11:00” Sydney says, scowling at me.

“I’m sorry Syd. I was preoccupied. I promise I’ll call you tomorrow when I get back to New Jersey and I’ll explain everything” I tell her, trying to calm her down.

Sydney look back and forth between me and Hope before nodding, “Alright, as long as you’re okay” she says, “And you? Are you okay?” she asks, turning to Hope.

Hope looks taken aback that Sydney is actually concerned for her wellbeing, “I’m better, thanks Sydney” she says sincerely.

Sydney nods and seems to accept Hope’s answer, “Okay. I’ll see you at practice tomorrow Hope. And Kelley you’ll call me when you get home.”

“Promise” I say, giving her a hug, “go home and get some sleep.”

“Alright. Bye guys” Sydney says, walking back to her car.

I watch her drive away before sighing in relief and turning to Hope.

“What was that about?” she asks me, shutting the door.

“Um like Sydney said, she drove me here and I was kind of freaking out…”

“Freaking out how?” Hope asks.

“Uh – well I kind of ran into her, literally, coming out of the locker room. Then I asked her if she knew where you were, then I tried to call a cab when she told me you had left. She offered to drive me because I was insistent on coming here and then I didn’t really talk the entire car ride” I tell Hope, embarrassed.

“Damn Kelley” Hope says.

“I was afraid I was losing you!” I say, trying to defend myself.

Hope’s expression turns serious and she wraps me in a hug, “you’ll never lose me Kell” she says.

“I love you Hope” I tell her.

“I love you too Squirrel” she says, kissing my forehead.

I smile and take her hand, “Let’s get some sleep, I have to catch a flight tomorrow” I say, shooting a quick text to Christie letting her know that I’m staying with Hope tonight and I’ll meet them at the hotel by 9:00 the next morning before following Hope to her bedroom.

We climb into bed together and I snuggle into her side, resting my head on her chest before falling asleep, completely happy knowing that I finally broke down the walls of Hope Solo.


End file.
